*click on the picture for a better view

someone wise told me this few months ago. i hope it'll help you as much as it's helped me :)

xoxo

Happy New Year everyone! :)

Photo above is in campus. It's been snowing a lot! Well, a lot more than the last two years I've been here! A week after my last post, it was snowing so much. I loved every bit of it! It was quite risky to go out but I wanted to go to town that day to eat at this new restaurant. It was lovely :) Eating lunch and looking outside with the snow falling down. Almost seemed like the movies. Haha.

Buffet style. Nyummmmms!

I think Chom Chom is such a nice place to eat at. They've got a bar, too but I've yet to try!

Spent Christmas with Matt and his family again and as it was my second Christmas with them, it felt less awkward. It didn't snow on Christmas day but it was surely sunny and freeeeeeeezing. I got Matt a pair of smart sneakers for Christmas especially as he's going to work full-time soon. And he got me a lovely necklace and an Amber stoned ring. Hehe. I never really liked big stones on rings but this one is just right. And absolutely pretty :)

:) Just took this right here and then! Haha.

I got my family back some Christmas presents, too! I loved getting the presents for them and loved it even more when they got them! Haha. Thanks to my lovely housemate, Ida, who passed the gifts to my family in Brunei as she went home for the holidays! My sister has posted some pictures on facebook of the gifts I got them :p Hehe.

I didn't do much on New Year's eve to be honest with you! Just stayed home, drank a bit of Bailey's and watched some TV. I guess January 2010 came just like another month to me. I probably also wasn't in the mood as I have an essay due on the 8th. Bugger.

It snowed again on New Year's Day! And it hasn't properly stopped since. Usually snows late at nigh; so in the morning, you can see a lot of white :) Pretty and pretty cold. Snow today was a lot more fluffy, instead of just smoothie kind of snow. Haha.

I'm in the library now, and there's absolutely no one else here with me on the part of the third floor. There were three other girls few hours ago but now they've gone. I can see that the radiators are high on heat but it's still so cold in here. I have this essay to do then I'm free till Spring term begins on the 18th. Heeeee. I can't believe it's my final year. It hasn't been easy so far even though it's only January. Been thinking and trying to plan but I can never find something proper. Here's to good decision-making! :)

Resolutions? Like I said, nothing properly planned. Haha. I have been eating healthily though ;) Salmon pasta with spinach was divineeeeeee.

Anyhoo, I got to get back to my essay. Gotta be out of here in an hour! Library shuts at 7pm. And last bus back to mine is at 6ish before the next bus at 7.50pm which is waaaaaay late!

I love snow :D

Byeeeeeee :) TC.

p/s: oh oh! post-new year's day, i received some very mixed news from my family. but i'm mostly happy with one piece of news, which was completely awesomeeeee news. ;D other than that, i'm just shocked and hoping for the best :)

it hasn't been snowing, no, but there has been some frost patches early in the mornings. strange weather every other day, but today it was nicely sunny. :) hopefully more of these better days to come...Amen.

hope all is well with everybody

xx

"oooh, what's the date today? oh, that's right...the 24th..aha! just a month till Christmas", Katherine said as she smiled away at me.

(Katherine's a lecturemate for one of my modules. Half Malaysian, half English :))

Oh, Christmas...right. Right.

While my eldest sister rejoice the fact that she's gonna be spending Christmas finally with the family after so long, I will still be sulking and accepting the fact that I won't be doing the same again this year. I try not to think about it much. I almost always just try to take it all in right here. It's not as joyous, personally, but it's still a Christmas feeling when it's freezing cold, and the Christmas deco and music are everywhere. Morrisons has already put up a Christmas tree at the entrance of the store. Even Christmas food are on sale. Heck, they've been on sale since September. I kid you, not.

But yeah. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do this Christmas. I spent it with Matt's family last year, and the year before with my sisters and girlfriends. This year.....perhaps with friends all over England. We shall see. It could possibly be my last Christmas here so I'm gonna make it count, definitely.

I've been hearing a lot of good and bad news lately and I've to admit, I'm mostly saddened by all of them. Sometimes I wish there'd be more that I could do but I guess I can't. What's done is done and it is out of my control. All I can do is hope for the best for these people that are struck by bad news. I am happy for those who received good news, though. It's just...I feel as if there can never be a good ending. It may be something good now, but there'll definitely be something coming that'll be...not good. Lol. Babbling.

Anyway, I've not done any Christmas shopping yet so don't expect anything great from me!! (hint to family :P) I've just been shopping for myself haha...Got some nice knitwear for the winter...yet to get a proper winter coat ^^

Mucho love to family and friends back home!

xoxo

sigh. i dread this feeling. i want to get it off me! maybe i should indulge in a good, warm bath...maybe....not sure if it'll do any good. maybe a shower then. a good, warm, quick shower...and then maybe some iPlayer. some reading. then off to bed...if i can sleep properly, that is. sigh...dread, dread, dread this feeling!!

LOLlies :p

hope all is well with everyone

xoxo

dear you,

it might not seem like it but i do hope you are okay. i might have not thought about it much but it's been in the back of my mind. lots of possibilities could be happening to you right now and all of them are what i don't want happening at all. it worries me sh*t. it worries us all. how are you doing for sure, i don't know. just when i thought life is going alright with bits and bops of errors - this comes up onto the surface to prove that life is more than that right now. and i want to do something about it. but what's holding me back? fear. and maybe time. but mostly fear. what will i see? what should i prepare myself for when i do see you? nowadays, i hardly have a heart-to-heart talk with anyone (which is sad...which is another story), i dunno what it'd be like with you. i just wish sometimes, with the snap of my fingers, all problems could be dissolved. i just wish things can be alright right away. but yes, i know, that won't be the case. i just hope you're okay. these things don't happen to you. they shouldn't be. as they wouldn't be with me. i wish that for you, too. so much. i'd like to be angry with you for having made those stupid decisions you've chosen. i'd like to shout at you. i'd like to drag you out of the hole you're in. but i can't. i can't when i don't even know where you are...........

==============================================

dear you,

sometimes i wish you would just support me at the spot, rather than asking too many questions. i'm in a place where i'm feeling so lost and there you are, trying to reason with me when it's not possible 'cause it's just not. just say yes and i'll do what you want me to do, instead go on saying a number of reasons of why you're disagreeing with me. we've gone over this. and you know what i'm going through. i've told you. a thousand, million times. i'd go and do it right now and hope that you'll come with without question. but i'm getting no support. and i'm getting no boost. you are the only person here right now that has that kind of effect on me. the kind that inspires me, influences me. so i fecking need you to be there for me. for what i'm set out to do. for what my principles are. if you can't do that, how are we to set out together in the future...............

==============================================

dear God,

i pray that everything will be fine. please keep all my loved ones safe and sound always. i pray that You continue to guide me. I need You more than ever. In Your name, I pray, Amen.

xoxo

wearing gloves in my room now. so cold! on the 25th, daylight savings will start. time will be set back one hour, so reset your clocks, people :)

i've always felt the feeling of being alone even though surrounded by a lot of people. it's so depressing, i know. and to have the internet to communicate with my family back home...to rely on the internet itself...just so I won't feel too alone is so sad! grrrr! i mean, yes, i have people i talk to here and things. but it's different. maybe it's just me. i feel so damn lost in all of this. people say u need to open up and talk things through but seriously, it is never that easy. geez. i mean, i can write all of my sorrows and what-nots now but i can never truly say it in verbal words. i can never really say them 'cause i don't know who i can say them to. sucks, innit? mmmm. so many things i could blame this feeling for but i don't think i should 'cause i made the decision to do so myself. God help meeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

emo! think i've been watching hollyoaks too much lately.

sigh. what if yeah...what if i just said it's time to stop. right there and then. boy oh boy i wonder how things would become. better? worse? same? but i know i'll find the answer to this stupid feeling, whatever it is.

thinking too much!!!

haha :)

this cold is madness. im gonna stop for now and maybe play WoW. the virtual world is easier than real life. sighness~

xoxo

finally, some proper time to post an update :-)

it's been windy and grey almost all week. it was quite sunny early in the morning but very, very cold. 9 degrees at one point, I believe. Leaves are falling and it's getting darker early now. Autumn has finally crept up on our beautiful summer. But something about in the cold I like is hot drinks. A hot cup of coffee or tea is just brilliant. In fact, I had one the other day at the baguette shop with Matt for brunch. It was niiiiiiiiice.

Second week of Autumn term has now past and just about 3 more weeks till reading week. Hehehehe. Don't know what to do on that week (yes, I know it's called "reading week" for a reason =D). I wanna do some autumn shopping but will see!

Oh, it's raining....

Got up at 7am today for a 9am lecture. I'm glad Uni ended at 11am for me. It's a Friday! Whee~

My housemates and I are going to have a dinner thing this evening. We're trying to set up the DVD player and it's not going so well at the mo 'cause we have no working batteries for the TV remote control. And we need 'em 'cause we can't an AV button on the TV.... =D

Well, I gotta go. Take care now! God bless

xoxo

the grey, rainy weather somehow speaks my mood today. this feeling is just too much; too crazy. i just don't know what to do about it.

don't know whether to carry on this smiling parade or to cry my heart out. both options are terrible. it is getting to me either way. i don't know what to choose. i don't want to choose, really. God sake!